JL Banner

Participating in Your Own Deliverance
By Jackie Lapin

One of the most powerfully self-destructive frequencies that one can vibrate in a co-creative Universe is mistrust. Being mistrustful means that you are setting yourself up to attract experiences that will fulfill your expectation that no person, thing or circumstance can be trusted. It is a terrible self-perpetuating circle. You believe it so you experience it.

Let’s first look at what one can mistrust in life:

  • You believe people are not adequate in their jobs and therefore you must do everything yourself
  • You believe people—or a specific individual--will let you down
  • You believe people in general are not to be trusted
  • You believe people of the opposite sex cannot be trusted
  • You believe that the more rigid control you have, the better things will work out
  • You believe that people are out to trip you up and show that you are insufficient
  • You believe that people won’t see your worthiness and you have to constantly prove yourself
  • You believe that the world is against you, that you never get a break
  • You believe there is no God or powerful source looking after you—or at least not on YOUR side
  • You believe that the future is bleak, and things will never get better
  • You believe that you are not good enough and you don’t trust yourself

So is it the chicken or the egg? Do you believe that experience made you mistrustful or did your negative thinking attract the experiences that reinforced your mistrust? You probably think it’s the former, but the truth is that if you had met the initial negative experience with a resilient belief in the greater good, than the unhappy negative outcome would not be repeated over and over again. By being continually mistrustful, you are simply setting yourself up for more.

How does one break the pattern?

By choosing trust. It’s that simple.

First, believe that people inherently desire to succeed or at least want to learn how to be better. If you believe they will fail, mostly likely they will. If, however, you re-affirm your faith in them and their ability to succeed or grow, they will most probably strive to fulfill your belief in them. And they will look to you to teach them. Even if they fall short, they will make progress. People generally live up to what’s expected of them.

If you have deep personal issues with someone, based on years of disappointment, begin now to encourage them and show faith and you may well see a change. For instance, when dealing with an alcoholic or drug addict, confirm your vision that you see his or her succeeding in sobriety. Your faith gives that person more to strive for. But trust doesn’t mean that it will happen overnight…allow things to unfold over time. Shift your energy and the energy will shift.

Believing that no one can be trusted is a terrible way to live. You feel alone in the world, isolated, and embittered. If this is what you experience, you must take responsibility for either unreasonable expectations; choosing your associates poorly; or somehow poisoning the relationships with negative thinking, self-interest, lack of regard for others, poor leadership, making others responsible for YOUR happiness, or general mistrust. Certainly a few people may fall short, but if everyone does, than the problem is YOURS—NOT THEIRS! Look carefully at the dynamics in your past relationships. What role did you play? Make careful adjustments to correct your own energy and actions. Then inject trust into EVERY relationship as you go forward and see what happens. The more people you trust, the more will reaffirm your wise choice, and the happier you will be. You’ll find yourself less alone and more connected. This will specifically be true of relationships with the opposite sex. Even having one mistrustful partner in the pairing undercuts a happy relationship. Trust is what makes a relationship truly transcendent.

Now trying to be in rigid control is a sure sign that you don’t trust the Universe to deliver what you need or desire. The tighter you hold on, the more likely things will actually rupture. Constricted energy bottles up and then blows open explosively, proving conclusively that you’re not really in control. Control is an illusion. However, if you trust the Universe to guide you to what you need, point you to the right resources, and bring whomever you need right to your doorstep…than you’ll have a far easier time of it. Believe all will be well—and that when things are not working out, you’re being redirected--than you will meet with unqualified success.

Paranoia is a perfect reflection of mistrust. If you believe that people are out to trip you up, that the world is conspiring against you, that you never get a break, than your mistrust is really out of control. If you put a blue filter on your glasses than everything will look blue. If you put a filter of mistrust on your soul, than everyone and every thing will seem out to get you. Conversely, it will appear that nothing is trying to support you. Shift out of mistrust and you will see a co-creative world willing, able and eager to be your partner! You’ll be amazed at the incredible humanity desiring to come to your aid, or the way your bad luck turns to good luck, or how God just happens to be present in daily miracles!

If your mistrust takes the role of harbinger of bad things to come, you will most certainly experience life as a series of things going from bad to worse. Paint a bleak picture in your mind, and it will manifest. However, if you hold a vision of constant improvement, positive outcomes and optimistic realities, than you have a better than average shot that you will indeed experience brighter horizons…if not immediately, then over time.

Now mistrusting yourself may indeed be the hardest mistrust to eradicate. We’ve spent so many years reaffirming our lack of worthiness and trustworthiness that this is particularly difficult. Can we trust ourselves to actually eat properly and exercise? Can we trust ourselves to make the right choice, to pick the right partner, to say the right thing to our children? Can we trust ourselves to follow through on our goals or to live our passion? But just because we “failed” before or that someone once told us we were inadequate, doesn’t mean that we cannot trust ourselves NOW. Trust+self-compassion+ forgiveness+intention+action add up to a powerful equation that can change your life and self-perception.

Leave behind mistrust and become a Ms.-Trust or Mr.-Trust. Let beauty, joy and goodness flow into your life as you assume the mantle of trust in all things and all ways.