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I'm Here on the Planet for Me, Not You!
by Jackie Lapin

“I’m here on this planet for me, not you!”

What a wonderful freeing concept! This statement, recommended by the wonderful sage Leonard Jacobson in his book Journey Into Now, is the get-out-of-jail-free card for so many people who live their lives to please others or who have allowed themselves to be enslaved or manipulated by other people.

And I’m here to tell you this statement is true. Your life is your own. You owe your time, your attention, your love and your effort to no one! You may choose to give these to others, but there is absolutely no obligation to live your life in accordance with what they want for or from you.

These are some of the ways people get caught up in someone else’s web:

  • Being desperate for love, money or attention, or wanting to please in the extreme (a trait that is usually the result of having had a parent who withheld approval or love)
  • Choosing to be dependent on someone for love or money allows them to manipulate you
  • Allowing parents to live their lives through you and impose their choices on you
  • Allowing a spouse or lover to dictate what they think you should do
  • Allowing children to run your life, instead of creating boundaries
  • Letting a boss take advantage of you by requiring exorbitant time or having you run personal errands
  • Allowing a sibling to dominate you because you feel you couldn’t possibly know as much
  • Allowing friends to talk you into doing things because of their personal agendas and desire to inflate their self-esteem

It is when you have little faith in yourself, when you don’t honor your own needs and integrity, and when you feel worthless that you allow others to call the shots. You become their shadow being. But please understand that this is a choice, even though it may be an unconscious one.

For you to breathe and feel freedom, you need only break the bonds. You can declare your independence with this very phrase, “I’m here on this planet for me, not you!” And then proceed to take the actions that will change your life.

This might mean:

  • Ending a relationship or moving out
  • Electing not to see a family member for a time
  • Finding another job or starting your own business
  • Creating specific boundaries and advising others of them
  • Reestablishing new sources of support
  • Changing friends, or at least changing the dynamics of a relationship with a friend
  • Doing what YOU want, instead of what a parent, spouse or lover wants you to do
  • Working toward greater self-love and acceptance
  • Trusting your OWN judgment, guidance and intuition.
  • Taking a risk rather than living with the status quo where you rely on others who can manipulate you
  • Make conscious choices rather than allow things to happen. Set intentions.
  • Ask yourself, “What is right for ME?” And then act on the answer.

If you have been living a half life—half yours and half someone else’s—it’s time to solely live your life. You will feel the exuberance of being your own master. Don’t regret what has gone before. Just make the alteration now and live boldly forward a life of your choosing. A life of glorious independence. With other people around you as supporters, not enslavers.